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Self-Discipline

I have nothing to write, nothing to say. OR I have so many ideas, I don’t know where to start. So I won’t.

Self-discipline means doing that thing – whatever “thing” it is – when you don’t feel like it or don’t want to do it or don’t know where to start. Right this moment, for me, that “thing” is writing. Specifically, it is writing here, now, this blog. Like so many bloggers and authors before me, I am actually writing about writing. Or maybe I am writing about self-discipline.

Today I didn’t know where to start. Then I thought of a quote I posted on Facebook. “Now that it’s all over, what did you really do yesterday that’s worth mentioning?” by Coleman Cox. So tomorrow morning when I look back at today I will be able to say I wrote. May not be my best work, or the most viewed blog. But that’s ok. Today’s lesson for me is not what I actually write it’s that I actually wrote.

A few posts back I wrote about living life from a happier state of being. This spring season is about blossoming in a few key areas in my life. I found that being positive takes discipline. Writing regularly takes the same. I often say to clients that “we do last that thing we most love to do.” And yet, we are so much happier, more at peace with ourselves when we take the time to do what we love; when we do that which feeds our heart and soul and body.

Tomorrow morning it will be worth mentioning that I had the discipline to write today.

 
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Posted by on April 15, 2013 in Lessons Learned

 

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Rolling with the Roles

I love being a mother. As of tomorrow I will be 8 weeks into this new role. And I love being a wife. Although my partner and I were together four years prior to getting married, we have been married for about 10 weeks now. And so there’s another new role… wife.

Add those to the roles that existed already: business owner, professional coach, marriage and family therapist, and multiple interpersonal relationship roles like daughter, friend, colleague, etc.

It seems the newest roles reawakened my inner perfectionist. And she’s a real sadist, that one.

What!? Didn’t get the laundry done or get dinner ready? “BAD WIFE” What!? Didn’t pump (breast milk) on time or the kiddo had a wet diaper for an extra 30 minutes? “BAD MOMMY” And then when those roles clash with the other ones… hmmmpphh! WATCH OUT!!!

Here comes the self-inflicted cat-o-nine tails: 20 lashes for having to take baby to the office, or forgetting the breast pump at home or having to reschedule clients due to last minute change in child care. And then wear the scarlet “B” for BAD ____________ fill in the blank: coach, therapist, friend, wife, mom, pet owner…you name it.

Funny thing is, I thought that perfectionist beotch was tamed. I had her in her place for a long time. I have to remind myself that perfectionism (my perception of it for myself) does not equal happiness. And its a fricking mythical state of existence.

I grew into those other roles. Over time. And there were bumps (ok, sometimes, they were mountains) along the way. But eventually I hit my stride. I let go of the notion of perfection with those roles and learned to be satisfied with doing my very best at any given time, knowing that there were days when ‘my best’ was better than it was on some other days.

Now, to take that lesson and apply it again….and remind myself I am a recovering perfectionist.

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Lessons Learned From My 7-Week-Old Son

#1 Stretch when you first wake up… He stretches his whole body. Pulls in his limbs and then out they go in all 4 directions. He arches his little back to one side and then the other. I tried it. It feels good. Especially stretching my arms out way over my head. Makes me breathe in deeply and get more oxygen. That’s never a bad thing.

#2 Greet the morning with lots of smiles and giggles. When he smiles and giggles at me first thing in the morning, its contagious. Of course I smile and giggle back at him. Imagine if we all smiled at people first thing in the morning instead of grumbling?  People would smile back at us and we’d all start feeling just a little bit happier. I know that’s how I feel when we have that little exchange.

#3 Don’t sit in your own mess for too long, it will start sticking to you. My son doesn’t like having a poopy diaper for too long. He’ll definitely tell me about it, too. (After all, he still needs help w/ his ‘messes’.) If it’s been a little too long, the yuckies sometimes stick. We all make messes in our lives… The sooner we clean it up, the sooner we can get on w/ the rest of life. And, it is ok if you need help cleaning it up. You just have to let someone know you need a hand.

These may no-brainers for most people. And, of course, I knew all the above before my son came into my life. But he reminded me in a way that stuck more poignantly… 

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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